honesty's over rated
by Queenzy
Summary: the boys get landed with a girl who claims to have amnesia, can they help her or have they taken in a prank mastermind? Mwhahaha paring soon. Relena/Dorothy torturing! R&R C ya!
1. donuts help the soul

Rissa: Yes I'm Ready to start a new story, it's gonna be so cool I just know it!

Marco: Are you sure, the last one was pretty bad. Did you even finish it?

Rissa: But I was going through writer's block and... Hey! What are you doing out of your cage!

Marco: I will not go to show and tell, you can't make me!

Rissa: Yes I can! Now go back before I squish you with a spatula!

Marco: You wouldn't dare!

Rissa: do you really want to take that chance?

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundum Wing, but if the owner wants to trade with me for Marco "the unbelievably hot elf" and a pack of gum, "CALL ME!!!"

Chapter 1: Donuts help the soul

How easy it was, simply point and fire, that was it. So many times she'd done it before... So why couldn't she shoot this man in front of her?

His breathing came steady as he dreamed what she could only predict as 'happy' dreams by the slight smile playing on his features. *Lava, don't carry this out* She screamed inside her mind, this was her mission; she needed to finish it. How could killing one man be so hard? If she didn't she would be killed, the people she worked for would consider her malfunctioning. Yet as she stood over him, his blond hair brushing his eyes every time he'd move; she found her hand trembling. *Great* She tucked her gun back under her coat, her mission was slowly failing.

"Good morning Lava, sleep well?" The blonde boy asked as his houseguest came into the kitchen looking half-asleep.

He'd found her in the woods with four of his companions one day, she'd been badly injured; left there as if to die. He'd immediately picked her up and rushed to his mansion, which was the closest thing with a medical wing. Her injuries had healed quickly enough, but she couldn't remember anything but her nickname, which she was positive her friends had called her... "Lava". He'd offered to let her stay with him and his friends as long as she liked; she'd smiled and said that he was one of the most generous people on the planet. He blushed remembering the scenario.

"Yes, and how about you? Good dreams?" Lava pulled out a chair and seated herself beside him before grabbing a donut from a box in the middle of the table. She examined it before stuffing half of it into her mouth and taking another one with her free hand.

"Expecting Duo To wake up soon?" Quatre asked while taking one of his own. 

"Wast time the pwig kole the whole hing and ate it all in the batwoom!" She said, having a little trouble talking with the other half of the donut in her mouth.

As if fate had planned it all along, Duo and Trowa walked through the door.

"DONUTS!" Duo ran over to where the two were sitting and was about to reach for a donut when all of a sudden the box disappeared with a blur, he looked up, confusion written all over his face to see Lava dash across the kitchen with the precious donuts. "No! Come back here!"

Lava smirked as she saw that the door was only a few feet away, the pig wasn't getting the only thing that was keeping her sane! She spotted Trowa and reached into the box pulling out a jelly filled donut and throwing it lightly to him, he caught it and immediately began eating it; only with a little more class the what she had used earlier.

"I want a DONUT!" Duo screeched, still running after the one female living in the house. *How can she be this fast in the morning?* If he didn't catch up to her quick, she'd have every last round shaped pastry in the box! At that thought he began to pick up the pace, he was now only a meter away from the thief when all of a suddenly he was knocked back by a mahogany door slamming right in his face! "ARGH!" He growled as he rubbed his now throbbing red nose, his breakfast was officially ruined for the day. Duo glared at the door a final time before picking himself of the floor and trudging back to the now full kitchen.

"By the look of it I suppose she was to fast for you... Again?" Quatre stifled a small laugh that was threatening to take over, Trowa only nodded; white from the donut powder still at the side of his lips. He had taken up Lava's seat beside Quatre after she'd given him a donut.

"She took every last blasted donut!" Duo wined as he sat himself in a chair next to Heero, who seemed to be completely ignoring the whole scene while drinking a cup of coffee.

"How dare the women steel the donuts! It's injustice!" Wufei wailed at the top of his voice, he was absolutely pissed that he hadn't gotten a donut. He glared down at his fruit loops as if planning Lava's murder, yet he was also (In a twisted sort of way.) pleased that Duo hadn't gotten one either.

Everyone rolled their eyes (including Heero.) at Wufei's 'injustice' comment (which is really starting to get old)before going back to their own meals.

Back in Lava's room. Lava was sitting Indian style on her bed enjoying a custard filled donut; it really was the only thing keeping her sane! Three weeks she'd spent in the house, pretending to be a lost girl with amnesia. What a sob story this was turning out to be, she glared at her dresser; stupid Gundum pilots. All she had come here for was to get rid of Quatre, that was it! Yet every time she'd be about to pull the trigger, she would stop... Lava sighed before returning to her donuts, this situation would have to be figured out soon; but only after her 'soul' donuts.

_

Rissa: And how was THAT for a first chapter! ^-^

Marco: Why did you use Your nickname for this chapter?

Rissa: Buzz off, it was the only thing I could come up with for a code name!

Marco: And this Wufei person is messed up.

Rissa: Blame the one who created him not me! Any way I think it's cute. Oh, I almost forgot Marco. GET BACK IN YOUR CAGE NOW!!!

Marco: Bye! *Runs back into canary cage and shuts door* Review!

Rissa: Say please dammit! hee hee , next chapter coming soon. That is, if ppl like it. ^-^ 


	2. ditzy girlfriends and annoying frogs

Rissa: I'm trying to get out of doing the dishes so lets keep going!

Marco: Good grief.

Rissa: What?

Disclaimer: I don't own n e thing but my underwear! Don't sew me!

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Chapter 2: ditzy girlfriends and annoying frogs 

It was Saturday evening and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for a, _frog?_ (Don't ask, just read.) 

"Who left the door open?" Lava asked from her pink floaty, she'd gotten an orange bikini when Quatre had told her to buy new clothes. She watched from under her sunglasses as Duo grumbled profanity (And lots of it!) under his breath as he got out through the shallow end to close the door, all the while never seeing the big froggy that was now jumping on the sofa.

"Duo are you still mad at me?" Lava smirked as he stuck his tongue out at her before diving into the water at the opposite side of the pool. "Quatre, when are these girls supposed to come?" She asked, twisting on her floaty to get a better look at him. For a cutie he sure had some lean muscles, she jerked at her thoughts; almost making the floaty tip over.

"They should be coming soon Lava." Quatre smiled from the side of the pool, his feet kicking at the water. Trowa who was floating on his back nodded his head like always after Quatre talks.

"Injustice!" Every one turned around to see a fuming Wufei stomp out through the patio door wearing pink swimming trunks, his face red like a tomato as he glared at Duo who had begun snickering from the middle of the pool. "MAXWELL!" Wufei shouted before jumping into the pool. 

"Ahhh!" Duo shouted as he tried to swim away, only to be caught by the hair and pushed underwater by Wufei. Everyone watched as the two teens squirmed and fought in the water, splashing every where. Wufei had gotten his hands around Duo's neck, choking him Simpson style while Duo was trying to say something; he was waving his arms like a lunatic as sounds like "Nogrrfffthahair!" The two bumped into Lava's floaty causing her to fall anime style in the water, Heero looked up from his laptop after hearing the ear splitting screech that soon followed a huge splash.

When Lava resurfaced, she looked deathly calm. Both Duo and Wufei stopped their squabbling at the sight of her. "Ok you want to play it this way, fine... AHHH!" She screamed a war cry before diving onto the two boys, splashing and kicking. The pile of limes began their rumble once more; it was so hectic that Lava never even saw who she was attacking. She felt a foot to her right, and thinking it was one of the stupid idiots, pulled with as much force as she could show without raising suspicion.

Quatre sighed when Lava joined in the fighting, the girls would be here soon and this is how they would find them. "Guys," He began, taking note that they were too close for comfort."I think you should stoaaahhh!" He screamed as an arm reached out and grabbed his foot, pulling him into the mass: practically drowning him in the process.

Heero watched with a small grin on his face, three people fighting each other with one trying vainly to get out of the tangle was absolutely amusing! It was better then what he was going to be doing for the next school year, protecting the obsessed Relena from harm. He shuddered at the thought, it was bad enough she had invited herself over today. Another year was going to be hell! He closed his laptop, knowing that he wouldn't be able to do anything anyways when the women got there. Trowa had wisely gotten out of the pool the second Wufei had screamed out "injustice", he sat down beside him under a tree and leaned against the trunk. They did not say anything to each other just stared out at the action in the pool.

"Duo stop grabbing my tits!" Lava cried out, perverted boy! She'd kill him without permission! 

"I didn't do anything I swear!" Duo cried out after finally getting his neck free from Wufei's grasp.

"Then who..." She ducked an arm and pushed a back trying to find who had touched her

"Sorry Lava." Came a muffled voice from inside the mass of baby parts.

"Yeah...my man Quatre!" Duo struggled to say before getting stuffed back underwater by Lava.

Just then, through all the splashing and screaming. A voice so terrifying rang out, making everyone stop and hold their ears in pain.

(Can you guess who? If you can't then you're a disgrace!)

"HEEEEERRRRROOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" A blur of sandy blond hair ran across the lawn to be permanently attached to Heero's arm. Heero growled, considering shooting her or himself just to get away from it all.

"Oh my God, run we're being attacked by a hideous alien!" Lava cried out while hiding behind Wufei. "The sight is corrupting my innocent little mind!" Duo giggled before turning around to see his own girlfriend rubbing her ears as well.

"Hildy!" He yelled, untangling himself from his three 'friends' and swimming over to meet her.

"Hi Duo, are you getting a black eye?" She knelt down and examined his face before kissing his forehead. "What did you do to Wufei?"

"Personally I think Q man did it." The girl with dark blue hair giggled before looking up to see the rest of the people in the pool.

"Hello guys, how've you been?" She greeted.

"And who is this?" A girl with long pale blond hair and bushy eyebrows asked, a frown on her face.

"Dorothy," Quatre looked down to see that he was holding Lava's leg still and quickly let it drop. "I'd like you all to meet Lava, the girl I told you about earlier." A blush had creped onto his face.

"I see." Was all she said before ignoring them all and walking to a beach chair to sit down.

Lava frowned at the girl; THIS was Quatre's girlfriend? What a stuck-up loner bitch she was being! She rolled her eyes before focusing on Duo's Hildy; she looked and acted nice at least. "Hi, it's nice to finally meet you all, the boys have told me such _nice_ things about you." She emphasized the 'nice' comment so the blonds would see she was being sarcastic, this made Hildy giggle again. Lava smiled back; at least the girl had humor as well. Too bad she couldn't get to know her, she **would** complete her mission; no matter what. Lava turned again to look at the screeching alien, did Heero like this women hanging off his arm? 

"Oh Heero, I've missed you so much. I figured that since you don't call you must be busy so I decided to see you instead. Are love is to strong for us to stay apart for long, I'll always find you." She sighed into his chest. Lava's eyes widened, *Poor guy* the women was a raving lunatic! She needed to be shot Lava concluded; this was the princess Relena? She was a crazed stocker the way she sounded! Lava made a mental note to do something cruel and unusual to the blonds, she got out of the pool and excused herself before going inside. No way in hell she would be stuck with them, not even donuts could save her then! She went to her own bathroom and took a shower, hot water after a cold swim felt very relaxing. After shampooing her hair, she quickly got out and dried herself with a green fluffy towel. She rapped it around her before going into her bedroom and changing into black baggy pants and a tight one sleeved white shirt that stopped just above her navel, she put in her nose ring and loop earrings before pulling on some black socks and slipping into her white Reeboks. Lava then sat down at her desk mirror and put her dark brown hair into two French braids that went down to the middle of her back, leaving some hair to fall down and frame her face. She smirked at the mirror before leaving to go back downstairs. As she crossed the living room to the patio doors she saw a frog sitting on the coffee table, at once her brain began its devious planning...

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Rissa: Yah! No dishes for me! And I finished another chapter, I know it's not long but hey, you'll just have to review and say if you like it or not so I can make the chapters longer. HA!

Marco: Review ppl! She's beginning to get hyper with waiting, do me the favor and shut her up with comments!

Rissa: You better watch yourself elf boy, I still got the spatula, but do what he says and review!


	3. Vive le French cooking

Marco: I'm hungry!

Rissa: And?

Marco: What do you mean "AND"!

Rissa: oh stop wining I got to write a story here if you haven't noticed! *Stuffs Marco's face in front of screen to show. *

Marco: Ok! But I'm still hungry!

Rissa: WAIT YOU BOTTOMLESS PIT! WAIT!

Disclaimer: I have no moola so just try and sew me! Mwahahaha I own It on it on it... ok I'm done my power trip, I own didily squat! Happy?!

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Chapter 3: Vive le French cooking!

"Heero, aren't you just so happy to see me?" Relena asked in a sickeningly bubbly voice. Heero groaned and looked longingly at the patio doors, that girl Lava was lucky enough to get away from the "Run in front of battles thinking you won't get shot" princess and the "I'm so in love with war" crazy women Quatre just _had_ to like, of all people! 

A growl was heard on the opposite side of Relena, on further inspection, Heero saw Trowa advancing on the girl who had knocked him over and linked onto his arm, caused the big bump to appear on the side of Trowa's head; the word murder flashing on and off in his dark green eyes.

"Umm Trowa. Can you get some lemonade for the girls?" Came Quatre's hasty voice, he'd seen Trowa and had unfortunately stopped Heero's only salvation. Trowa tore his eyes away from his target to glare daggers (or in his case, bullets.) at him, then marched right past them all and through the patio doors.

Inside the mansion he saw Lava crouching behind the couch, looking over the top to see something that must of been behind the TV which was turned on.

"What are you doing?" He questioned; taking note of her butt sticking out, then he mentally slapped himself for that. He was already hooked up!

"Can you shut-up! Jeez, one of the rare times you actually open your mouth and speak to me and I don't want you to. Get down here." She venomously whispered, giving him the "Listen to me or die a slow and painful death" look. Seeing Heero give it to Duo every day paid of, because the tall boy crouched down beside her. She looked over the couch again and saw the frog now flipping through channels from under the coffee table; she'd tried to catch it the first time; only to have it jump away just as she dived for it. This was her six time trying to snag the stupid little slimy amphibian, she growled menacingly, the stupid thing had sounded like it was croaking a frog like laugh at her! If it weren't for her brilliant plan she would have just shot the stupid thing in mid hop! She turned to face him again "Ok, your mission should you choose to accept it, is to intercept your target when it reaches your assigned location." She whispered in a low voice so the froggy wouldn't hear.

"What target?" Trowa became a little nervous at the look of crazed determination playing on her face.

"The frog..." She stated mysteriously. "Follow me my son and I will in lighten you on how to make the blond poopoo heads days forever sucky." She held out her hand for him to shack it. 

Trowa looked at her as if she was crazy! Maybe the head injuries were starting to take its tole. He looked over the couch to were she had been staring, there under the coffee table was a frog watching TV, one of his slimy arms on a remote control beside him. Trowa's eyes widened in surprise, and then he quickly ducked back down behind the couch. "What, you have a plan?" She nodded her head, a sly grin appearing on her face. He looked at her for a few seconds before taking her hand in his own and shacking it.

"Yes. Now lets do this, you go over to the other couch and I go around this way. Well have the sucker trapped before he's finished watching sailor moon." Her grin suddenly turned evil. (I don't own sailor moon either so there! I'm broke so if you even thought of taking every penny I got from that comment, a pennies all you'd get!)

They nodded to each over before executing her plan. The frog was completely unaware of this as his eyes burst into hearts when a girl with pigtails started spinning with her body all glowy and pink lights flashed across the screen. Lava wiggled across the floor on her stomach to her starting point, she had a clear view of the frog now. She began to count in her head when she saw Trowa wave from his own point.

*1...2...3...4...GO* Lava jumped up and dived for the frog! The green reptile tried to hop away from her only to go right into another human, it looked confused for a second before coming out of its shock and trying to go the other way; forgetting that Lava was right behind him. Lava smirked as she grabbed the squirming froggy with both her hands, "Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." She smirked when she saw the frog gulp and give a weak 'ribbit' as an answer.

"Lava, you're talking to a frog. Did you realize that?" Trowa felt himself begin to sweat as both girl and frog turned his way and glared at him, one for being considered a common frog, the other because she already freakin' knew that!

"Thank you Trowa for your input on the situation, now, on with part 2 of my plan! Mwahahaha!" At her evil laughter, both Trowa and the frog visibly began to sweat.

Outside Hildy had jumped into the pool with Duo after taking off the long baggy black shirt that she'd worn over her nice blue sports bikini, splashing him playfully while talking about anything and everything with him. Quatre had settled down on the same Long Beach chair as Dorothy, trying to have a continues conversation that didn't end with her one liners. He looked over to see Heero staring strait ahead, taking the princess's onslaught all the way. It seemed as though her mouth hadn't stopped moving since she came! He turned back to his 'girlfriend', was she PMSing or something today? "Why don't we go into the pool?" He offered.

"No." was her replay, one word; she didn't even leave a way for him to say something else. Quatre admitted defeat and settled for just watching Hildy and Duo play in the water, kissing now and again. *Lucky priest! * He thought, at the rate he was going with Dorothy, she might let him hold her hand by the time they turned thirty! Of course he would never rush or force her into anything, but he was a guy dammit, he had needs! Though the movies Duo had gotten for his birthday were doing their *cough* work... It just wasn't the same as what it could be! (Quatre is a GUY let me remind you. I refuse to believe that he's a SAINT!)

Just then, Trowa came back out; a smile on his face holding two glasses of lemonade in each hand. He gave one to Dorothy and then the Relena. After he'd served the drinks he walked back up to where Quatre and Dorothy were, Dorothy hadn't taken a sip of her drink yet as she stared at him. "Lava says she's making diner."

"She knows how to cook?" Quatre asked, a flashback of the last time someone other then him had cooked.

(Flashback)

"Duo, smells good!" Quatre complimented as he sat down to a plate of noodles with a brown sauce all over it.

"I got it out of a cookbook I found, but it's a little weird..." He trailed off as he served the others their plates.

"Are you sure it isn't poisoned Maxwell?" Wufei questioned sarcastically earning a glare from the long braided priest. Quatre rolled his eyes before taking a bit just as Wufei did; a disgusting taste immediately filled his mouth! He was vaguely aware of Wufei's shout, who had spit out the food and jumped on the table with his kaitana (can't spell it) screaming "Injustice!" And yelling all the while about chopping Duo's braid off. Duo began running around the house screaming "bloody murder!" 

A wave of nausia passed through Quatre and he scrambled to his feet and ran to the bathroom ready to see everything he'd eaten that year. 

Thirty minutes later, Quatre emerged from the bathroom and went back into the kitchen feeling sick beyond belief. Duo was sitting in a chair with a pack of peas on his forehead. "Duo what did you put in that sauce!" He yelled then held his mouth feeling the need to run back to the bathroom.

"The cookbook said to pour a nice brown sauce over the noodles, that was it!" Duo wined

"What kind of brown... Sauce?" Quatre was beginning to get scared, he looked around for a phone incase he needed to call 911 for food poisoning.

"Well what else! The only brown sauce in the house was... Chocolate sauce."

(End of flashback)

Quatre shuddered unconsciously at the memory.

"I guess so, she said she wanted something French." Trowa said before hurrying back inside.

When Trowa left, Dorothy took a long gulp of the lemonade, only to spit it out! Her face twisted in distaste, Quatre looked at her puzzled, then wiped his head around when he heard Relena's own cry; her face in an even more twisted fashion.

"What's wrong?" He asked both girls. They both spit before crying out in unison,

"SALT!!!"

Lava and Trowa gave each other high fives the second they heard the screams.

"Now, what are you going to cook?" Trowa asked as he saw Quatre trying to calm a raving Dorothy, and a pleased Heero at the fact that Relena was running around in circles complaining about the taste; instead of hanging off of him through the window.

"A French delicacy." She stated breathlessly after finishing her victory dance on the couch.

"Which would be..." He pressed her for more information. She giggled and hopped off the couch, then walked up to him and leaned up on her tippie toes to (which he thought would be whisper,) scream loudly into his ear!

"FRENCH FRIES AND FROG LEGS!"

"Ahhh!" He yelled as he fell to the floor, hitting his head trying to make the ringing stop in his ears.

"Oops, sorry, my bad." Lava giggled before skipping into the kitchen...

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Rissa: there we go, another chapter done! oh and heres your food cry baby!

Marco: cool mini chicken legs!

Rissa:*Hides a "how to make frog legs" cookbook behind back* yeeeaah, mini chicken legs... N eways Review review review! I need comments, oh and Sarah thanks for that compliment! JUST STOP USING MY LOG IN NAME!

Marco: Wow she's not screaming at me. *takes another bit of 'cough' mini chicken legs* Yummy.

Rissa: See yah soon!


	4. mini chicken legs

Marco: I can't believe this! How could you! Gross, ewww, call a doctor!

Rissa: Don't mind him, he's just mad that he had 2 dozen frog legs without realizing it ^_^.

Marco: Your trying to poison me!

Rissa: Why would I want to do that when you still have to go to show and tell!

Marco: 0.O WHAT!!!

Rissa: Your not getting out of it! Now be quiet and let me write this!

Disclaimer: I...I...I...I can't do it! Come on, at least give me Trowa! ARGH fine, once again I own nothing that relates to Gundum Wing. And I'd just like to say that I think you lawyers are all aliens! How can you be human and resist this adorable puppy face of mine!

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Chapter 4: mini chicken legs

It had begun to get considerably dark outside, Hildy and Duo were out of the pool by now bugging Wufei who had slid into the bushes after Trowa had handed the girls faulty lemonade trying to hide. Now he grumbled curses as Hildy poked him with a stick and Duo yapped away about his date bloopers, he wondered if Heero had hidden his gun in his swim trunks.

Relena had dived onto Heero after her little scene of running around screaming for him to save her; you didn't even need to be near to hear his teeth grinding. But of course her royal blondness was too busy ranting about their so-called 'love', and trying to suggest a date to notice. (Don't think I don't like blonds ppl! I'm just remembering all those blond jokes I've heard. Be blond, be proud!) Heero looked up when he heard the patio door slid open; Trowa walked out with a stone face, no emotion what so ever could be seen.

"Lava says the food is almost ready so all of you should take a shower and get dressed." He said then did a 360 turn and went back inside. 

A sigh escaped his mouth, as he knew that Relena would have to move away from him in order to go inside. 

"Well then I suppose we should do as they say." Quatre smiled getting up, the silence had been too long! Maybe something good would happen at dinner.

"Come on Hildy, move that nice ass of yours! FOOD!" Duo cried out, throwing his fist in the hair in some kind of pose before grabbing Hildy's arm (she had just enough time to give Wufei one more poke) and dragged her away. 

Everyone followed the hungry priest inside and went to take care of their own things, except for Relena who had run ahead of Heero to hide in his room and watch him change. 

Back in the dinning room, Trowa was down on the ground laughing his head off. Lava hadn't been lying when she said she'd be making French fries, there were three huge bowls of it lined up in the middle of the dinning room table.

"What! That's all I remember how to make you lanky freak!" She huffed, actually that WAS the only thing she knew how to make! Training everyday since the age of four to become the perfect spy never left her enough time to even learn how to make Shake & Bake chicken, she'd learned French fries from watching a guy make them in a Fish & Chips restaurant!

"You should of just ordered take out..." He breathed out, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Oh just go and make sure my prisoner is still cooperating with us if all your gonna do is laugh and mess up my plan!" She turned around to continue setting the plates.

"What prisoner, what plan?"

"You already know what plane you fool!" Lava looked up to see Trowa waving like a lunatic, making signs for her to shut-up and turn around. When she did her face went blank.

"No I don't, what plan?" Heero asked again, giving her the "answer or die" look. He pulled out his gun and placed the barrel in the middle of her eyes. "Who are you and who do you work for?" He demanded. He was extremely pissed after finding Relena in his room; she'd thrown herself at him telling him to "take her". He'd had to kick her out of his room and move his dresser in front of the door so she couldn't come in. "Tell me now." 

Lava nearly had a heart attack! He found her out? But how, when? Suddenly she remembered his profile; she looked at the gun and grinned. "Cool, where did you get that? It looks really real!" She lifted her eyes to see his stunned face. "And even if it was real I couldn't tell you my job you idiot! I can't remember it! Now sit down and wait, I was going to tell everyone my PLANS when they all came down here."

Trowa stared at her for a few seconds, *Wow, major self-control if she can come up with a lie under that kind of scrutiny." He thought, the way Heero looked at the moment; even Duo would stop being an idiot and confess everything to him. Just then everyone came into the room; they stopped short seeing the position the two teens were in.

"Anyone wanna fill me in?" Duo asked, looking from gun, to Heero, to Lava, then back again.

"Heero was threatening me because he wants to know what I was going to ask you when you all came down," Lava said, turning to Duo and not giving the gun a second glance. "I guess I should ask it now then. Would you guys like to go to a club after supper?" She smiled and stuck her tongue at Heero who had put away his gun somewhere. (does anyone know where he really puts it?)

"Yeah why not." Hildy said with a smile.

"Yes, if that's what everyone wants." Quatre said slowly, looking at Dorothy who only nodded.

"Of course I'll go, and Heero can be my date!" Relena's eyes popped into hearts.

"I'm going if Hildy goes no questions asked!" Duo chimed in.

"I will not stay alone in this house, so I will go." Wufei stated, trying not to look interested in Lava's proposition.

"Great, then it's settled!" Lava smiled at them all, the club would be a perfect place to finish her mission. She turned to Heero and winked, causing him to frown at her again. "Trowa, did you get the ketchup?" At that remark, everyone turned to the table.

"That's dinner?" Quatre asked, cursing for not seeing this before hand.

"This is injustice!" Wufei yelled, a meal made entirely of French fries was not what he had planned.

"Cool it justice boy, I've got one more thing, but you might not like it." Lava grinned, seating herself in one of the chairs to begin helping herself to some fries. 

"I love French fries!" Duo said, leaping into a chair and inhaling the fries right away.

Once Duo had sat down, everyone ran to a place to try and get some food before the pig ate it all. Heero made certain he sat between Lava and Trowa; to Relena's disappointment.

"What else did you make Lava?" Duo managed to somehow ask in between chewing.

"How about I show you." Lava grinned, turning towards Trowa who nodded and got up. They both went to the kitchen and got the nine covered plates, one with a little red marker line. 

"Here we are! Mini chicken legs!" Lava called out. (Marco: HEY! Rissa: Hee hee hee) She and Trowa placed a plate in front of each person, leaving the marked one for last, it ended up in front of Relena.

"Mini chicken legs?" Wufei questioned, lifting the lid to see just that.

"Yeah I found a box without a label in the freezer, when I looked inside I saw the legs." She tried desperately to keep a truthful honest looking face. Everyone lifted their own lids, inspecting the "mini chicken legs", when suddenly Relena shrieked and fell over her chair! The only thing anyone saw was a round green thing bounce out and stick to the raving princess's face!

"ALIEN! ALIEN! SAVE ME HEEROOOOO!" She screamed, trying to get the green slimy blob off her, she bumped into Dorothy's chair, causing Dorothy to fall on top of her. As the blonds scrambled about trying to get away from the "alien", the rest (well the ones that didn't know what the green thing was, oh and take out Heero too.) looked on in worry. The others were ready to fall out of their own chairs laughing like mad!

"Can't... Breath!" Lava gasped for air as another fit of laughter other came her.

"Call a doctor, Lava can't breath!" Trowa laughed out, grabbing his sides.

Through all the screaming and laughing, the frog was trying vainly to stick to the humans face; The weird other human had threatened it! If it didn't do this, the human said she would make frog legs before he could give out a crook for mercy! 

Relena thrashed about, the alien was trying to suck her brains out! She grabbed the slimy creature and threw it as hard as she could, but that wasn't too far. It hit Dorothy in the back of the head before bouncing off it out the window. She turned around to see that girl and one of Heero's friends laughing.

"I almost died and your laughing about it!" She bellowed. "Heero I demand you kill them for me now!" she looked at them as if they would get what was coming to them.

Both Trowa and Lava quieted down, they looked at each other as if sharing a hilarious joke before bursting out laughing again! 

"Sorry toots, but that... Alien you're claiming was trying to kill you was a little innocent frog you moron!" Lava spat in her face. "If you hadn't over reacted you would of seen that!" she shook her head before grabbing a French fry from her plate and eating it.

"And WHO put the frog there!" Dorothy, who was trying to coum through her disheveled hair with her fingers demanded.

"It was the one armed man." Trowa said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and turned to Lava who was nibbling on another fry. 

"Please, let's not make accusations. Dinner looks like it's over so how about we just hold our peace and go to the club." Quatre said quickly, waving his arms in front of him trying to get attention; he could see this was probably going to get nasty. 

"Yes, lets. Dancing's always a good way to make amends." Lava grinned to herself, she still had one more thing up her sleeve. And maybe she could get a little fun out of this natural peace maker, before she killed him...

________

Marco: I didn't find that funny.

Rissa: Oh poor baby. Think of it as a complement.

Marco: HOW!

Rissa: you gave me a wonderful inspiration! ~_^

Marco: Your mocking me aren't you!

Rissa: Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it small fry? Ok ppl, review cuz I want to know if I'm doing a good job!

Marco: Review and tell her to stop picking on me!

Rissa: Oh shut up and get in your cage you annoying little pip squeak!

Marco: SEE!


	5. couples night

Rissa: dum di dum dum dum.

Marco: what are you doing?

Rissa: my shrink said to try a way to cope with the fact that Trowa's a cartoon character and not my husband.

Marco: SO you draw pictures of my death by menacing frogs?!

Rissa: Ain't it wonderful! Look there's you getting jumped on by a giant frog and here's one...

Disclaimer: I might not own Gundum Wing but I'm using it right now! So there! Oh and I also drew a picture of you blood sucking no good lawyers getting harpooned by me, like it?!

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Chapter 5: couples night

After the little dinner fiasco, mostly everyone was more then willing to forget it ever happened... Mostly, Trowa still burst out laughing every few seconds while Lava raided the pantry for anything edible. The rest of their party had gone into their own rooms to get ready for the club.

"Can I ask what you'll do at the club?" Trowa said while in his calming down mode. He took in deep breaths trying not to think about all the squawks and screeches the two blonds had made during their "attack of the killer brain sucking alien frog". He looked up to see Lava close the pantry door with a jumbo pack of marshmallows, she opened a drawer and retrieved two forks before hopping up on op of the counter and turning on one of the stovetops.

"How could you think of me as such a cruel scheming person," She bat her eyelashes at him in an innocent fashion. Then handed him a fork and stuck one of the white mushy candy on it, then speared one of her own on a fork and held it over the now heated stovetop. Trowa copied her example, turning the fork like a BBQ. "I think that maybe I'm going to bug Dorothy now, stupid frog got away before he finished what I told him to do." Lava glared down at the slowly burning candy, holding her fork just a little bit tighter at the mention of the frog.

Trowa stared at her for a moment, she really believed the frog understood her? He shook his head, the girl was weird; terribly fun, but weird.

Upstairs, Quatre was having a hard time picking out clothes. *I should have asked what kind of club we're going to. * He frowned before giving up and deciding to just put on anything that was in front of him. He looked up to see his yellow bunny PJs, his cheeks colored three different shades of red *How about the second thing I see. *

"Duo aren't you done yet?" Hildy called through the door to his bedroom, she'd already dressed in a cute red t-shirt and sexy red mini skirt with matching shoes. (She was supposed to have gone on a date with Duo after swimming so she had brought clothes.) She rolled her eyes at the sound of his scurrying feet in the room. "Duo!"

"Be with you in a sec. sweet cake!" He called through the door, causing Hildy to smile slightly.

"Your worse then me Duo." She said back. Right after her words left her mouth, Duo opened the door. He wore a nice gray, white, and black jersey with the number 2 and the words "God of Death", he also wore black baggy pants (well I would hope he wore pants!) that had a white bandanna hanging out of the back pocket. Hildy looked him up and down, "what; you want to be a rapper now?"

"Don't criticize my style, you don't like it?" Duo went from a confident "gangster" to a little boy giving his girlfriend puppy eyes in a span of six seconds!

"I like I like! Just please can we go now!" Hildy grabbed his arm and began tugging him down the stairs. Almost everyone was waiting in the main hall ready to go, only Lava, Trowa, and Relena were left.

"Lava! Hey, Trowa! We're leaving!" Quatre called out, not really knowing where they were.

"You forgot Relena Quatre." Dorothy said calmly truly not giving a damn.

"Oh... I uh was just getting to her," Quatre cursed under his breath, not wanting the weirdo to come. "Relena!"

"I'm here." Relena said from the top of the stairs, everyone looked up, then fell down anime style! Relena looked at them as if they'd all gone crazy. "What's wrong with all of you?" She began to walk down the stairs, wearing that white ballroom dress (you all should have seen at least once!). 

The second she touched the bottom step she fell forward, Heero who had the bad luck of being right there; caught her in his arms. Relena immediately rapped her own arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his, trying desperately to French him! Heero's first impulse was to pull out his gun and shoot her then and there, (but he won't cause I need to at least have her beat up to a bloody pulp before the story ends so...) instead he just dropped her, a loud thud could be heard along with a high pitched "EEEK!" As Relena hit the floor.

"Oh cool your all here." Lava looked around a little too excitedly; she had a near empty jumbo bag of marshmallows in her hand. Trowa walked in behind her with a handful of his own. They both looked at the girl on the floor having a heated temper tantrum before (not the first time that night) bursting out laughing yet again! "Ok...Ok... I won't ask! Let's just go!" Lava leaned on Trowa for support, though he was about to collapse from laughter himself.

Relena picked herself off the floor and hurried after the group as they went out the door and piled into the limo.

When the gang reached the club, everyone thanked what ever God was up there that the end of the ride meant the end of Lava and Duo's singing.

"Sippin' some Jin and juice yeah, I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind." Duo raped while Lava produced the beat to the song by hitting Wufei's back since the radio had turned off, the man had given up trying to get her off by yelling because she was completely deaf! The moment the limo door was opened, Wufei scrambled shamefully out the door to be as far away from the violent women. The rest came out of the car more gracefully, except for Relena (of course.) who tripped on her ball dress and went flying to the pavement!

"ACK!" 

"You're such a klutz." Lava stated matter-of-factly, stepping on the girl's bum as she got out of the car next.

"Ouch!" Relena cried.

"Can you two stop while we're in public?" Quatre hissed at the girls; one glaring up, the other sticking her tongue out at the blond.

The rest moved into the line, waiting to get into the club. All but Lava who stared at them as if nuts.

"Why would you want to stay all night in a line! You people saw what happened on "Night at the Rocksberry", only losers stay in the line!" Lava quickly covered her mouth when dozens of people glared at her. "OOPS! Uh no offense!" The people turned back around, faces a little sad because what she said had been true. (Yeah I have to wait in line too! But I'm still cool! ~.^) Lava ran into the line, but only to pull Trowa out. She then dragged him by his black sweater sleeve to the front of the line, going strait up to the bouncer at the door. 

The bouncer looked at her; she looked at the bouncer. The bouncer cocked an eyebrow; Lava winked and licked her lips. The bouncer smiled, Lava smiled. Point goes to Lava!

She waved for the others to come over; the bouncer looked at where she had waved. Lava looked back at the bouncer, the bouncer didn't look too happy. Lava produced a fifty from her bra; the bouncer's face lit up! (Oh yeah, oh yeah!) 2 points to Lava.

The bouncer counts the heads of all the people, Lava bites her lip. The bouncer shakes his head then points to a sign, Lava reads the sign. "Couples night". Point for bouncer.

Lava looks around and grabs a nerd out of the line then sticks her with Wufei, bouncer smirks before opening door. Lava hands money to the bouncer, bouncer shakes head then winks at her. Lava shudders before walking quickly in, followed by the rest of her party.

"Ok... That was weird." Hildy said, but she wore a smile on her face.

"ACK! Get this thing off my arm!" Wufei yelled, the nerd girl hung of his arm as though one of her all time dreams had just come true (that or she was just hyperventilating.); she had big hearts in her eyes.

"Oh thank you so much! I was waiting there for three weeks!" She said in a crackly, high-pitched voice.

"You mean to tell me you have absolutely no life that you stay night and day in a club line?" Duo said shocked.

"Yes, isn't it cool to go to clubs?" She squeaked, still stuck to Wufei's arm.

"Ok, you find the crow bar and I'll pull!" Trowa said, looking yet again a little too serious about his words.

"Oh I think it's cute, let's leave them alone for awhile." Lava said sweetly. The nerd smiled and shook her head furiously! Wufei's eyes bulged before he began squirming even harder trying to get away from the nerd, if nerds were even human! (I don't hate nerds, well not the candy, but I'll say just what I said for blonds...Power to the nerds! *A bunch of nerds run into the room and begin clapping for her* 0.O Ack! Marco help!)

Everyone left Wufei to handle the women, fanning out around the different parts of the club. A lot of people stared at Relena's dress as if the girl was nuts! Lava tried to get away and disappear so she could finish her mission at last, but Heero had grabbed her arm and led her to the dance floor.

"Stop using me to get away from that psychopath! Take it like a man!" Lava told him pulling on her arm, but they were already in the middle of the dance floor; and surprising enough Heero knew how to jam down to music other then waltzes! They danced pretty well together too, knowing how to turn and when the other would change moves. Almost as if they we're both trained to do this... Suddenly Lava's brain went into overtime! She **_had_** been trained to dance like this! But if Heero could do the same moves as her, same time, same style... She looked into his eyes for a moment as they turned around in their steps; he so knew it too... 

__________________

Rissa: OMG! That was the most horrible thing in the world!

Marco: What the story?

Rissa: No you fool, the nerds! How did they get my address? 

Marco: I don't know...

Rissa: You let them in didn't you! They tried to make me play chess and magic cards!

Marco: Poor you, I didn't think it would be that bad.

Rissa: My innocent little mind is corrupted! *SOB* N e ways review! At least one good thing could come out of my day! Bye! 


End file.
